Welcome to the Blending Healthy Families Blog!
This week we’re touching on being pregnant (or any other hurdles) in your blended family.
I find mental health super important. In fact, I have been seeing different therapists on and off since getting engaged over 3 years ago and I finally found my forever therapist after some past trauma from college came to light and I decided I had to deal with it.
We also went through another round of court custody and decided we were really ready to move on to a happier place in our marriage so started a few rounds of therapy together.
And now, finally, as I’m approaching this new stage in my marriage and family, I am finding that we can overcome some of our biggest obstacles by bringing love and awareness to them.
There were certain things as a stepmom that I needed to overcome to get to this place and that work started with me:
Learn to not take it personally. Kids (and husbands) say the darnedest things. And they won’t always be the right thing you need at that time. Find a support group and vent to them. Getting the frustration out can help you hear how it sounds and helps ground you into your integrity.
Learn how to separate yourself from the dream you thought you had. I reference this in episode 2 but it becomes super important as you go through hard times. We are not a movie or a fairy tale - we are neither “Cinderella” or “Yours, Mine and Ours”. We are our own story...so write it the way you want it to go.
Work on communication in your relationships. All of them. Effective communication goes a long way and will help articulate and mend circumstances that weigh heavily on you. Even start by chatting with your spouse about your feelings and what is weighing on you - see if they’ve been noticing and how they can offer support.
Work on respect in your relationships. Understand, nobody wants divorce. Blended families are a bi-product of something that didn’t work and your marriage can be one that does. However, holding grudges, blame and resentment doesn’t make that loss easier for anyone. Try talking with respect when you’re overwhelmed and use time and space to help get through.
This week’s episode goes into full detail. These tactics may look different for you but all boil down to one thing: Protecting your unique family unit.
This doesn’t mean I’m perfect and won’t slip, but it does mean that I’m gaining the tools and resources to continue to be slow to anger and understand other perspectives!
What hurdles did you have to overcome in your blended family?
RECIPE TIME:
Blended families can get spicy! From the words you say to the fiery feelings you feel sometimes.
So what better recipe than Buffalo Chicken Salad. It can be made as unique as your family - sandwich, salad, veggies and more!
Buffalo Chicken Salad
Serving size: 4 Time: <15 mins
1 cups cooked boneless and skinless chicken breast, shredded or cubed
3/4 tsp garlic powder
3/4 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp black pepper
2 tbsp + 2 tsp nonfat Greek yogurt (or mayo or cream cheese)
2 tbsp + 2 tsp buffalo sauce
Serve with your choice: 2 cups romaine lettuce, tomatoes, broccoli, celery, carrots, cucumbers or other veggies of your choosing.
Shortcut 1: Instead of individual spices, 2 T of Ranch seasoning works just as well.
Shortcut 2: Used canned white chicken or leftover chicken that’s already cut/shredded.
Blend all the ingredients together and add your choice lettuce and veggies with blue cheese or ranch dressing.
ENJOY!